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"This place needs to be sticky, wall to wall." - Every 2 year old with a Popsicle.
Chuck E. Cheese is just a casino for little kids.
Growing up and becoming an adult was the worst decision I’ve ever made.
My kid’s teacher told me my kid is obsessed with video games and that I need to work with her on it. I’m like I do. I’m player 2.
Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is that you`re ignorant and make bad decisions.
If a man doesn`t drink when he`s living, how in the hell can he drink when he`s dead?
If Apple really want to introduce something new and "innovative" they should just release a longer charger.
If the Internet was never invented... what would we all be doing now?
Last night I was drunk and asked a cat if it could talk. It said, “Me? How?”
My motto is "Never say never." Which makes it difficult to tell people my motto...
Sometimes, the light at the end of the tunnel is just a lost guy with a flashlight.
I don`t know why it`s necessary to get a glass dirty, when wine tastes perfectly fine straight out of the bottle.
Some of the best memories I have are of times right before the cops showed up.
Don`t feel bad if you don`t enjoy my posts. The important thing to remember is that I do. I enjoy all of them. That`s what matters.
Kid`s Choice Awards are a great reminder why children aren`t allowed to vote.