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So, I bought a wok to cook healthy food and I have to say, these french fries don`t taste any different.
Whenever someone tells me they like country music, I just look them in the eyes and ask "which country?"
Money is the root of all evil. For more information, send $10 to me.
Cubic Zirconium`s slogan should be: Guys can fake it too!
In wine there is wisdom. In beer there is strength. In water there is bacteria. You decide.
You mean.. people run? On purpose? When nobody is chasing them?
The only way I`m coming to your wedding is if you get Me a gift. You just found lifelong love, I think I deserve a blender more than you do.
The iPhone 6 looks pretty cool, but it still lets people leave voicemails, so they apparently haven`t worked out all the bugs yet.
I remember when the internet was two tin cans and a string.
thinks we need to think like a first grade teacher and separate Romney and Gingrich next time they debate!
Admit it, you have that one voice that you only use on animals and babies.
People who make really bad decisions are always like "I have the worst luck"
I don`t wanna be told what to do unless I`m naked
You might think you`re smart until you try using someone else`s microwave.
Opposites attract, that`s the trouble with being awesome