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"Nineteen letters long" is 19 letters long.
Some days, the best thing about my job is that the chair spins.
The problem is I have just enough money to get into trouble but not enough to make bail.
I think I’m allergic to mornings.
Before asking a hot chick out, I wish I could first talk to the dude who`s sick of her bullsh!t.
I read in the Bible that people used to get stoned to death, that`s a lot of weed.
To the lady at Costco with her son on a leash. I`m sorry that I asked if he was a rescue.
The 21st century: When deleting history is more important than making it.
Does anyone else wonder why naked and baked, 2 words that go together SO well, don`t rhyme?? ...I mean, who comes up with these words anyway? lol
Words and phrases I hope do not appear in my obituary: "Skeletal remains", "Dumpster", "Beyond recognition", "Decapitated", "Dental records", "Shallow grave", "Strewn", and "Suicide by Cop."
I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food. :)
Ive been invited to farmville! Now what to wear...
Kinda funny how the Mayans said we were all gonna die in 2012, but they all disappeared way before us.
Iam not as THINK as you DRUNK iam!!
They say you can tell how someone has sex by how they dance…. So ladies be prepared for a lot of counting and clapping.