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I may look like I`m doing nothing, but in my head I`m quite busy.
Anyone else immediately turn down the car radio the second you think you might be lost?
Remember kids, the Toys R Us bankruptcy and liquidation teaches us that poor spelling and grammar will always catch up with you eventually.
The lack of a secret handshake makes me question the strength of our friendship.
Happy Wednesday 2014 Everyone!
Someone told me the camera adds 10 pounds and I was like why would anyone eat a camera you idiot?
Is there another word for synonym?
My sister says god`s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers, so I bought her a vibrator because she`s obviously never had an orgasm.
People say that 60 is the new 40. The cop who pulled me over didn`t agree.
I take so many things with a grain of salt that I`m surprised I don`t have high blood pressure.
I wish my bladder had a snooze button.
Should hallways in mental institutes be called psycho-paths?
You don`t get smarter as you get older. There just aren`t any stupid things left that you haven`t already done.
Making good decisions doesn’t really go with my outfit.
My reaction to stepping in dog sh!t is identical to me logging onto Facebook