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Dear guys: Women don`t want pictures of your d!ck. Maybe try sending a screenshot of your bank statement and see where things go.
It`s been a boring day today. Not exactly Nascar boring, but awfully close.
Really Google Autocomplete? You honestly think I want to search for "hardcore poem"?
This town has more white trash in it than a dumpster behind a paper plate factory
If you never jumped from couch to couch as kid to avoid the lava, then you missed out on childhood.
Coffee is gods way of saying "go ahead get trashed on a weeknight, I`ve got your back"
Remember if you ask me to put sun lotion on your back, I am definitely drawing something dirty while I`m back there.
Ninja Mode is not a plausible excuse for not being seen at work.
You`ve got to love yourself. But not in public places.
( )( ) =( `-` )= <( . )> ("`)("`) bunny!!
When I drink I become everybody`s friend which makes up for my hating everybody when I`m sober.
Jack daniel was found dead by johnie walker at castle strt under savanna tree,captain morgan believed dat he was killed by strongbow.his 4cuzns said that he was best in j&b club at knights...
You never know how dirty a song’s lyrics are…until you hear a child sing them.
The best part of my divorce was how I woke up and I hadn`t done anything wrong
Cheer Up. Right now, somebody, somewhere, is thinking about you naked.