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The worst part about being stoned at work is realizing it`s your day off.
McDonald`s should have a 3rd window, where you can trade in all the wrong sh!t they gave you at the second window.
Yesterday I accidentally sent a naked picture of myself to everyone in my address book. Not only was it embarrassing, but it cost a fortune in stamps.
"You only live once. LOL JK!" ~ the cat
I don`t get offered drugs nearly as often as D.A.R.E. said I would.
Sometimes I stand in the shower for 10 minutes before I remember what I`m supposed to be doing. So, yes your secrets are safe with me.
There should be a day in between Saturday and Sunday.
My fantasy is having two men at once. One cooking. One cleaning.
What can I do today that is only going to happen once in a blue moon?
I only have a kitchen because it came with the house.
New Life Goal: Get a job where people ask me, "You actually get paid for doing this?"
If the shoe fits, shove it further up their a$$
When someone calls you a bitch just say a bitch is a dog, a dog barks, bark is on trees, trees are nature and nature is beautiful. thanks for the compliment ;)
If someone threw a rock and knocked me off my donkey, would I be stoned off my a$$?
You can tell Charles Manson really loves his fiancee by the way he hasn`t murdered her