Daily Silly Status

Almost time for my nightly foursome......... Me, my bed, my pillow and my blanket! What the hell were YOU thinkin` you perv!!!!!!

"Ramen." - Scooby Doo finishing a prayer.

If I had a dollar for every girl that told me I was unattractive, they’d eventually find me attractive.

PLEASE - put this on your status if you know someone (or are related to someone) who has been eaten by dragons. Dragons are nearly unstoppable and, in case you didn`t know, they can also breathe fire. 93% of people won`t copy and paste this, because they have already been eaten by dragons. 6% of people are sitting in the shower armed with fire extinguishers and the remaining 1% are awesome and will re-post.

When your wife or girlfriend asks,"Do I look fat?" the ONLY correct response is, "Do I look stupid?

superbowl: the only time I actually look forward to watching commericals.

I had a blind date once, her name was ..::..::.:::::…:::::

If everything goes as planned, tonight I shall drink myself beautiful.

I`m getting sick of seeing all these lyric status`s, it reminds me of somebody that I used to know.

Every day I struggle between “I wanna look good naked” and “treat yourself.”

My mother said, "You won`t amount to anything because you procrastinate." I said, "Oh ya.....Just you wait."

One small step for man one giant step for a really small man

YouTube is so addicting, I click on a music video and next thing you know I`m watching how to make ice cream.

I refuse to celebrate Earth Day until Wind & Fire are recognized.

I eat my corn on the cob like an old-school typewriter. This is how the 80`s cartoons taught me to do it as a kid.