Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
What´s the difference between light and hard? You can go to bed with a light on.
Some people are normal. What an awful, boring existence that must be.
Life is basically trying to meet better people than the ones you currently know.
Should all acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind, should all acquaintance be forgot and somebody refill my wine.
I almost got raped in jail last night. My family takes Monopoly very seriously.
Being an adult is basically a "choose your own adventure" book, but every choice sounds terrible.
My favorite drinking game is drinking.
I just watched my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes and thought, "Wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized I just watched my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes.
It would serve me better if they put shopping carts in the middle of the store where my pride realizes I have too much sh!t to carry.
Fun Fact: Valentine`s Day was created by a woman than didn`t get what she wanted for Christmas.
She’s thinking about having beer pong at her reception… that’s walking a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I love Ebay. Sold my homing pigeon 8 times last month.
Cologne - because people shouldn`t have a choice whether or not they want to smell you.
Somebody just gave me a free air guitar..... No strings attached
In your face with a can of mace, make you cry all over the place!!