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Restaurant Advertisement: We serve food as HOT as your neighbour’s wife; And beer as COLD as your own. :)
I`m not bothered if someone likes me or Not. Even Angels are hated by Demons.
People who are offended by offensive things offend me.
Remember kids, the Toys R Us bankruptcy and liquidation teaches us that poor spelling and grammar will always catch up with you eventually.
Life is what you make it = 10% Shit happens = 90%
We`re all mature until someone pulls out bubble wrap.
Sorry, but breaking up with you on facebook was the best way of letting all your friends know I`m available.
Studies show that if you begin a sentence with "studies show," the internet will believe you.
A tattoo doesn’t tell you very much about a person, but where they put the tattoo does.
If you think my status updates are ridiculous you should see my life choices
Keep reaching for the stars but please get a better deodorant.
It´s not that I hate you, it´s just.. well I´ll put it this way.. if you were on fire & I had water, I´d drink it.
Good neighbors do not put password on their wi-fi.
Sometimes I have to go outside to get signal on my phone for Facebook so yes, you could describe me as "outdoorsy."
Is it too early to start drinking? - some moron with a clock.