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If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
Sure I have my doubts, but Bigfoot doesn’t have any pictures of me either.
I used to be a camera man in the porn industry but it became too hard...
My gift horse is facing the wrong way
Rawwrrr means I love you in dinosaur. Everyone knows that, silly
I have every episode of Hoarders saved on DVD.
I just saw a 2 or 3yr old boy wearing a t-shirt that says, "if mom or dad wont buy it I`ll just sms grandma and grandpa"
Falling in love when lonely is a lot like shopping when hungry, you end up with a bunch of sh!t you don`t need.
I love Christmas presents wrapped in bubble wrap... it`s like two gifts in one!!
Be thankful for Facebook, the way gas prices are headed we may never actually see each other again.
You can get super human strength when put in life or death situations. Last night I uncorked a bottle of wine with my teeth during a tantrum...
This post was going to be really funny but I didn`t write it down because I was totally sure I`d remember it.
I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food. :)
I say No to drugs but they... won`t listen.
I don`t use cocaine, I just like the way it smells.