Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Just dropped part of a cookie into my printer, so I hit "copy"
If you wear cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing?
I`m on this great new diet called "sleep through breakfast"
I used to like my neighbours, until they put a password on their Wi-Fi
Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until ALL the birds have gone South for the Winter.
I replaced the spare tire in my car with a box of wine. I`ve no idea how to change a tire, & I bet I`ll need a drink as I wait for a ride.
These ‘energy saving’ light-bulbs are bullsh!t. They take just as much effort to screw in as the ordinary ones.
Girlfriend said she felt she looked fat, tired, and ugly. Said she needed a compliment. I told her that her eyesight was nearly flawless.
If someone asks for advice, just tell em to follow their heart. No idea what that sh!t means but at least they`re not talking to you anymore.
I stopped paying my car payments to concentrate on my dream of appearing on a Repo show.
I knew we were gonna be friends when you ran into that wall.
We didn`t take a video recording of our child`s birth but we have some awesome video of his conception.
Saw a chameleon today, so I`m assuming it wasn`t a very good one.
Why do pickup truck commercials think it`s very important that I`m able to tow a plane?
When someone hands you a flyer, it’s like they’re saying here you throw this away.