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Women are so jealous. I bet Eve counted Adam`s ribs everyday to see if another woman had been created.
+ if you wish you could record your dreams.
Sorry I got mad and said a bunch of things I meant but shouldn`t have said out loud.
Nobody wants to know your diet. So shut up, eat your lettuce and be sad.
If I had a nickel for everytime I told myself I`d quit smoking, I could buy a lot more cigarettes
It`s kill or be killed. Or eat a sandwich. Maybe go for a light jog. Draw a picture of a duck. There are a lot of options out there.
Stalking is when two people go for a long romantic walk together but only one of them knows about it.
If you use the word "gay" to desrcribe something that is "merry or happy" then you`re gay.
Flies only live for 24 hours.. Except for the ones that get in your room. Those bastards live forever.
You could completely eliminate the semicolon key and 90% of America wouldn`t notice... until they needed to wink at somebody.
I was watching craps at the casino all night until security finally dragged me out of the bathroom.
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to .... unless your in prison!!!
I`m gonna name my son Wussell so people think he has a speech impediment.
You know one thing i really like about you is that you dont like anything about me.
Volleyball is just a more intense game of "Don`t let the balloon touch the floor"