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Just for kicks I posted "I won the LOTTERY" on Facebook. One girl liked it, then replied to the inbox message I sent her in 2010. *Blocked*
How do amish girls know if its a romantic candle lit dinner or just a regular candle lit dinner.
Monday must be a man ... It comes too quickly.
Digging through a box in the closet, I found a picture of me sitting on Santa`s lap. Hard to believe that was almost a year ago.
Me: But where do you see this relationship in five years? Her: Sir! For the last time, do you want extra cheese or not?
According to the 19 citations I got for trespassing and peeping, "neighborhood watch" isn`t what I thought it was.
I never said "you were stupid" I said "you are stupid", there`s nothing past tense about it!
I hope when the machines take over the world they start by fixing my cable.
I don`t need an excuse to drink, but thank you for giving me one.
Car alarms should sound like two chicks in a fight. I`d look out the window for that.
If Guys Wrote Valentine’s Cards: “I don’t even need beer to think you’re attractive.”
I’m trisexual, as in, I’ll try to have sex with you.
The Drug Store cashier asked me how im doing as I put some diarrhea medicine on the counter. "Not great man, I`ve got diarrhea" I told him.
I keep my land line so I can find my cell phone.
I always thought I looked like romeo, until I washed the picture off my mirror...