Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Relationships are mostly you apologizing for saying something hilarious!
Ladies - I am still available as a great last minute Christmas gift!
I’ll drink responsibly when there is a brand of vodka named Responsibly.
Sometimes I wanna comment on a photo on Facebook but then I don`t wanna have to explain why I`m in your `Random Party Pics 08` album at 4am.
My car broke down outside a massage parlor on today ... And again tomorrow.
I wish Noah would have swatted those two mosquitoes.
This bar doesn’t know it yet, but it’s about to be karaoke night.
Saw a bird sh*t on my car, so I ate scrambled eggs on my front step, just to show him what I`m capable of.
Maybe one day a loooong time ago a kid decided to play hide and seek with his pet Bigfoot but just didn`t explain the game properly.
I don`t let my friends do stupid things... ALONE
Unplug the copier at work & put a sign on it that says “now voice activated!” Sit back & watch the magic unfold.
The phrase "use of the jerk-off motion is prohibited" has been added to our HR manual because of me. It`s like winning an award.
There is 1 mosquito in my apartment. I have 50 bullets. Let`s dance.
I`m broker than the Tooth Fairy in a house full of Meth addicts.
Ugh, I forgot to go to the gym today. That`s 9 years in a row now...