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So when a couple gets engaged on Facebook for April Fools it`s okay to comment "hahaha" but the rest of the year it`s rude??
Why is it that people who drink energy drinks seem like the people with the least amount of stuff going on?
I love long legs.... Long sexy legs.....But not on a Spider, I hate long sexy legs on a Spider.
I just don’t want to look back and think “I could’ve eaten that.”
Kicking a man while he’s down burns 150 calories.
Most computer problems are caused by a loose nut between the chair and the keyboard.
Question: : What do you get if you add human DNA to a goat? ... Answer: Kicked out of the petting zoo
I would go for a jog today, but it looks like all of these cupcakes expire today as well.
We all have that one person we forever regret giving our phone number to.
I wonder whether I can trust doctors with dead plants in the waiting room.
My illusion of having the Force is crushed the minute the remote is slightly out of reach.
I don’t have nightmares... I create them for others ;-)
When I get bored I go to a car dealership and ask the salesman to lay in the trunk so I can "see how many I`ll be able to fit"
Do you think all the giraffes sit around and watch Margaret in Nebraska give birth?
If something`s worth doing, it`s worth doing rihgt.