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If you make something easier for yourself they call you lazy. If you make something easier for everyone else they call you a genius.
what does bgif mean on a friday night ? ... boobs go in front
Just for fun, next time you see a snooty, rich woman at the grocery store, ask her if she works there.
This woman is so impressed at my driving that she got next to me just to show me she’s not wearing a ring. Thanks hun, but wrong finger!
Girls don`t dress for guys, they dress for themselves. If they dressed for guys they would be naked all the time
It’s always hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they’re always taking things literally.
I only like clicky pens when I am the clicker.
My girlfriend just accused me of being unfaithful. I told her that is ridiculous and that she is starting to sound like my wife.
Congratulations India on successfully orbiting a probe around Mars. I assume you`ll be opening call centers on the red planet and using fake Martian names now?
I have a dream that one day I won`t have to work on MLK Day.
The Kids today just don`t appreciate the colors and flavors of Dial soap like I do
Don’t let anybody push you around ... unless you’re in a wagon, cuz that is just plain fun.
Don`t understand how people in depression commercials can be sad with how attractive they are.
The only thing instant glue sticks to instantly is fingers.
The quality of a good neighbour is not seeing them often.