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That awkward moment when you have 10+ tabs open and you can`t figure out which one the music is coming from. FML
I like Tuesday, it rhymes with Boozeday...
My whole life consists of wondering whether or not to make the sarcastic comment.
Go through a fast food drive thru. When they repeat your order back to you, say "And can I get that to go?" and enjoy the confused silence.
My new workout video is 20 minutes of me vacuuming over the same piece of string instead of picking it up.
The older I get the more use I have for the phrase "bite me."
Things I do everyday: 1.Get up 2.Survive 3.Go back to bed
Life is funnier when you have a dirty mind. ;)
I was called sexist today. So..i said i think ur mistaken...its pronounced sexy! LOL
If you get excited that jumping on the bed won`t spill the wineglass on the other side, you`re probably an alcoholic.
“Be yourself” is the worst advice you can give to some people.
My decision making skills closely resemble that of a squirrel crossing the street.
I dont think I could ever stab someone.. I barely can get the straw into a Capri Sun.
Forgotten pocket money is the best!
There is a special place in Hell for people who stop at yellow lights.