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I hear Internet Explorer 10 is going to allow you to download and install Firefox up to three times faster.
Relationship status: my cat won`t sit still for our selfies.
This complimentary lemonade at the doctor`s office tastes funny.
My grocery list is just a piece of paper saying ~ don`t run into anyone you know.
To everybody that is single don`t worry you will have your day ... Palm Sunday is just around the corner
Every day can be palm Sunday if you`re a single guy
My wife said we could have a three way "when pigs fly" so I showed her a police helicopter.
Dear neighbor mowing your yard this morning, I found my bagpipes for tonight.
Iām exhausted just thinking of everything I have to do.
I`ve just invented an invisibility cloak; anything under it is rendered completely invisible. I`m still working out the kinks; you can still see the cloak itself
If I don`t remember what I did, don`t ruin it for me by reminding me.
Always believe a woman when she says, "you don`t really wanna know"
Sobriety is an illusion created by alcohol deficiency.
Why is it that people who drink energy drinks seem like the people with the least amount of sh!t going on?
Facebook Proves: That if Family had the Option... they`d Delete ya.