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Redneck Word : debate...i was gonna go fishin today but forgot to bring debate
She asked me for time and distance. I guess she wants to calculate velocity.
Chuck E. Cheese is just a casino for little kids.
When I got divorced, we split the house. I got the outside....
If I`m in your house and you have bookshelves... Be prepared to see me turning statues and bending down books while looking for your lair.
People are so weird. You reach under the bathroom stall to tie their shoes and they freak out instead of saying thanks.
Sneaking alcohol into work is pretty easy, if you put it in your stomach first.
TV and the Internet are good because they keep stupid people from spending too much time out in public.
I watched my first porn movie today. I looked so much younger back then...
2011: Come at me bro! 1800`s: Advance towards me brethren!
Some people just bring out the psycho in me
Cubs fans, you need to wait 107 more years. But don`t worry, 2124 will be here before you know it!
Opinions are like a$$holes: some people make money by posting them on the internet.
Nice try, self-checkout lane. There`s not even any mirrors.
Success is like a fart. It only bothers people when it`s not their own.