Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I may not be the best looking, wittiest, smartest or even the most successful person. I forget where I was going with this...
Sorry that offended you, I really didn’t think you’d get it.
Is it polite or rude to slide a note into the bathroom stall next to you that says, "heard you farting but it`s ok you`re in the right place :)"
If I agree with you, we would both be wrong.
The most difficult part about taking a personality test is deciding which personality should take it.
Hey ladies, you know that feeling you get when you roll over & realize you made a horrible mistake? I could give that to you every day.
Last night I meant to tell my kids "Good night, I love you", but it came out as "Thank god you go back to school on Thursday because this is bulls**t."
I`m sorry, all I hear is your perfume
I`m that friend that you have to explain to people before you introduce me and apologize about afterwards.
I was bitten by a mosquito last night. Bet that little bastard is pretty hung-over today
HR and I apparently disagree on what "debriefed" means.
First thing I do in the morning: Look at the clock and hope I have more time to sleep.
Why do people with the most to say contribute the least?
Don`t refer to them as voices in your head. Do as the professionals and call them your `team of writers`
I do what I want, when I want, where I want.. if my mom says its ok. :)