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Between Criminal Minds, CSI, Law and Order, Castle, and Monk...I am now fairly confident I can get away with pretty much anything.
I miss the life I planned in my head.
I used to drink a lot in the 80s. Then I realized, who cares what the temperature is.
Sanity is so overrated. I mean, it`s a nice place to visit, but I wouldn`t want to live there....
Basketball would be a lot more exciting if each team was allowed one bear.
No matter how loud you crank the bass, it`s still a minivan.
After committing a crime, always carry a fire extinguisher. No one gets stopped while running with a fire extinguisher.
I am at the gym! Well, the parking lot. They have free wi-fi.
No heel is too high when pointed up at the ceiling.
I finally figured out how to get rid of that annoying sound in my car. I opened the door and pushed her out!!
Ferris Bueller did more in one day than I’ve done in my entire life.
This goes out to the person who thought of the idea to put stickers on each and every piece of fruit. "Nobody like`s your idea"
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
You`re really cute, can I suck the life out of you? - women
Let’s fix the obesity problem AND improve eye-hand coordination by replacing vending machines with claw machines, make people earn snacks.