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I just can`t help it ... Sarcastic bitch is built-in.
common sense is like deodrant. the people who need it thr most never use it.
I tend to say “I don’t know” when I’m too lazy to think.
You can tell a lot about a womans mood by her hands. If they are holding a gun, she`s probably angry.
Don`t judge. Maybe I`m conducting a study of the effects of prolonged laziness on a human body. You don`t know.
Sometimes I wish I could officially change "Hump Day" into "Smack-A-Dumb-Bitch-In-The-Face" Day.
If people listened to themselves more often, they would talk less.
For a generation that allowed YOLO, BAE, and KIM KARDASHIAN to happen, you sure have a lot of f*cking opinions on how things should be run.
I hate driving so much that I even ring for taxis on grand theft auto.
After a night of heavy drinkin’ there’s one thing I can’t stand… and that’s up.
In the interest of improving the workplace, my company has put up signs that say: CAUTION. OPEN DOORS SLOWLY ... My best time so far is 7 min.
It`s amazing what you can accomplish when you do stuff.
Dear Autocorrect, She`s an amazing woman not an amazon woman. Thanks. And now I`m never getting laid.
Our parents did the same sh!t too, they`re just liars.
Is it just me, or would those movies had been far scarier if they were titled "Monday the 13th"