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I used to be able to stay out much later than this. I find I just can’t these days. My phone battery just doesn’t have the stamina any more.
Definition: Brain - Your body`s hardest working organ. It works 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, from birth until you...fall in love.
I`m in a good place right now. Not emotionally....just that I`m at the liquor store.
You might be addicted to Facebook if you read my post`s every day...
Tomorrow, history will be made. Months and months of advertisements and anticipation has led up to this historic day. America will see firsthand what is surely to be a historic event, and I am proud to say I will do my part and pick up my copy of Halo 4.
A chain lock on a door is just there to annoy the person who is breaking in to kill you, right?
A shark will only attack you if you’re wet.
I don`t get why people find drunk text annoying
If your neighbor has wind chimes, you have wind chimes.
Having a bad day? Imagine a T-Rex trying to masturbate. you`re welcome.
If you give up smoking, drinking, and sex, you don’t live longer, just seems longer.
I just "borrowed" my neighbors nissan frontier, they make that trick look easier on the commercial
Sometimes people don`t notice or appreciate the things we do for them, until we stop doing it. Then they are like, “Why don’t you stalk me anymore”
Success is like a fart. It only bothers people when it`s not their own.
Of course women have cleaner minds than men. They change them so damn often.