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The brain is like the most outstanding organ. It works for 24 hours, 365 days, right from your birth until you fall in love.
If abortion is murder then are condoms kidnapping?
At least men and women agree on one thing, they both don’t trust women.
People who think I’m not a religious person should see me when the airplane starts to shake.
I like to respond to statuses with .. WOW, Someone needs a Happy Meal.
Irish Handcuffs: Holding a beer in each hand.
I`ll be back before you can pronounce actillimandataquerin altosapaoyabayadoondib ab!
People all around the world are out doing interesting and productive things right now. You are reading this.
Football Logic: Your team won: Celebrate with beers! Your team lost: Better drown my sorrows in some beer.
Grey Goose and Red Bull, because two sets of wings is better than one.
I bet Waldo`s parents are worried sick.
My parents told me: “You’ve got to stop watching so much TV, and read more!” so I turned on the subtitles.
When I text someone and they dont text me back, I automatically assume that they fainted from overexcitement.
Be careful on how tough you are on your kids....Strict parents create sneaky children.
I`m the type of person that will burst out laughing in dead silence over something that happened days ago.