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Do not treat a woman like an object. It hates that...
You never know what you are missing,until you clean your room.
How do you play religious roulette? You stand around in a circle with your friends and blaspheme, and see who gets struck by lightning first.
I don`t always agree with everything I say. :)
Turns out people who say they love hot sauce on anything are liars. In other news, I`ve recently been banned from making the classroom coffee.
yo fellas how did that "wow" comment you left on that girls facebook picture play out
If there`s one thing in this world that everyone can agree on it`s... "Goonies never say die!"
You know what’s worse than slow internet? NOTHING.
We have GPS that can navigate you across the country. Why can`t someone invent a device that can remind you why you went into a room?
Why are there never any good side effects. Just once, I’d like to read a medication bottle that says “May Cause Multiple Orgasms”
If A Couple in Love are called Love Birds, then a couple who fight with each other should be called Angry Birds.
Sometimes after many years of marriage, you just look at your wife and wonder how she stayed with you this long without you killing her.
If you trip and are about to fall on the ground yell "He`s got a gun!" and then you`ll look like a cool hero.
In case I drink too much and pass out for a while, Merry Christmas you guys.
I usually want to post intelligent and witty comments. But I end up posting stupid and funny ones so my friends can understand them.