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I don`t know which is worse... waiting for someone to get out of the bathroom so you can use it or hearing them say "come in" when you knock on the bathroom door...
While everyone may not speak the same language, we all know what time McDonald’s stops serving breakfast.
The only way you can be right in an argument with a woman is by admitting you`re wrong.
My insurance company said if my tent is stolen while I`m camping, I won`t be covered.
Saw a woman crying as she was buying tampons last night. ..Must be going through a tough period in her life.
Bring me the heads of my enemies!! or some cupcakes ... whichever.
Ladies, if he calls you crazy, don`t get upset. Crazy girls are better in bed so take it as a compliment. But stab him, just in case...
If anyone has ever told you that you snore, just know that person has very carefully weighed the pros and cons of letting you live.
The irony of all this is, the internet was created to save us time…
Is it the S or the C that`s silent in scent?
According to WebMD, people are Sick & Tired of me
Life is just better when you’re laughing.
Overheard at grocery: Paper or plastic, sir? Doesn’t matter. Im bisacksual.
Does this couch I`m laying on make me look unmotivated?
Those beards make the Red Sox look like they`re going to a Civil War reenactment as Confederates.