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Did you ever notice that the doctor’s bill is always a lot more readable than the doctor’s prescription?
And we all have that one friend who has more blonde moments than an actual blonde.
The Great Wall of China has brought more foreigners than it has kept out.
I love my friends unconditionally.* *Certain terms and conditions may apply. May not be available on all days. Coverage not available in all locations.Offer good for 30 days.Requires two-year minimum agreement. Fees applied for activation and early termination.
Remember kids- Respect your fathers! Besides, before you came out of your moms, you came out of your dad.
I don`t understand why you guys complain about never being able to finish a tube of chapstick, it usually only takes me 2 or 3 bites.
I get nervous after taking time off work, that in my absence my boss will realize how little I actually do at the office.
My 13yo just dumped his girlfriend and now he`s attempting to get his hoodie back. He`s in for one hell of a life lesson.
I`ve never literally been tortured but I have walked behind old people when I was in a hurry.
Today`s interpretive dance was brought to you by "Spider On My Shirt". Up next we have "Oh jeeze, where did it go?!"
I wonder if anyone has watched Storage Wars and said, "Hey, that`s my stuff!"?
Well, all I have to say is TGIF. (Post this on any day but Friday to get comments)
I eat my salad without dressing because who has time to put on clothes...
When reality kicks in… add more booze.
A spider just tried to crawl across my hand and now how do you extract a fork from bone without causing more damage?