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There are over 4 million workplace injuries reported every year. Play it safe…call in sick tomorrow.
i dont normally have a cool facebook status, but when i do, an older relative spoils it with a lame comment.
I`ve been waxing my car for twenty years and I still don`t know karate.
Smooth move.........ExLax
I`ll take "who the f*ck would know that" for $600, Alex.
Seeing a spider isn`t a problem. It becomes a problem when the spider disappears.
Life is never more confusing than when three people get together to order one pizza.
I love that moment when I`m cruising down the highway listening to country music and I suddenly realize "wait a minute I can change the station!"
If I could bring one dead person back to life I`d bring back Walk Disney. Just to show him the shows on Disney channel and see his reaction..
What if "I`m coming out with a new scent" was just a way for famous people to warn others that they were about to fart?
Even if women came with an instructions manual men still wouldn`t read it.
Opinions are like a$$holes: some people make money by posting them on the internet.
I haven`t seen any new Bigfoot pictures in a while... I hope he`s OK.
My GF`s anti aging cream went bad ... How does anti aging cream have an expiration date?!
Wal-Mart: Because going to Target requires a shower.