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Sometimes I`m completely inconsiderate to other peoples feelings. And other times I`m asleep.
Woke up this morning, looked in the mirror & said out loud, "You gotta bring it today!" ... So I packed a lunch and went to work.
I know it`s rude to ask someone about their pregnancy if you`re unsure, but my hubby looks about 4 months along & the suspense is killing me
Children fill a void in your life that you never knew existed. And promptly destroy everything else.
Abbreviation is an unnecessarily long word.
Grant me the courage to change the things I can, the serenity to accept the things I cannot, and a big-a$$ed pitcher of margaritas as “Plan B”
I wish I had the confidence of a male flight attendant
Sleep is for the people without access to Internet.
If a tree falls on your Ex in the woods, and no one hears it, still get rid of the chainsaw just in case.
How did anybody express anger before the invention of the caps lock key?
Everything just seems much better when you`re in denial
I`d probably get a lot more done if it wasn`t for me.
Most difficult job ever.......Working in a bubble wrap factory......Imagine the self control needed.
Friending someone on Facebook and complaining about what they post is like phoning someone to tell them you don’t want to talk to them.
I’m glad to know that we will never have to worry about a lack of weathermen. I mean, I know at least a couple dozen on Facebook.