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Don’t worry I won’t tell anyone.. and if I do, I’ll tell them not to tell anyone.
There are many different ways one can save energy, but my favorite by far is this recliner.
watching porn is like finding happiness in other enjoyment.....
Seems like 2013 was just yesterday.
If someone tells you "it`s better than sex" they`re not doing the sex right.
When you go in the other room I ask your dog what you look like naked.
Stop, drop, and roll isn`t just an effective fire safety tip, but it is also an interesting way to get out of a boring conversation.
Porn is the one industry where segregating races, genders, sexual preference, is completely acceptable
I know I don`t look like it but I`m really good looking!
The phrase "use of the jerk-off motion is prohibited" has been added to our HR manual because of me. It`s like winning an award.
What did the crop say to the farmer? Stop picking on me
Last night, I fell asleep with one of those new e-cigarettes in my mouth. I woke up half an hour later & my whole apartment was on the internet.
The problem with money is too much of it belongs to people who aren’t me.
Hold on I`m about to count my money. Alright I`m done.
I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn`t met me yet