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If you bend over and place your ear next to a girls vagina , you can clearly hear her say "WTF are you Doing!"
When I`m bored I like to dress in a grim reaper costume and stand across the street from the nursing home and wave at the old folks.
It takes a lot of courage for a man to admit his wife is wrong...
spank me, its the only way i`ll learn.
All I’ve ever wanted from life was to be a disturbance in the force.
It`s important to teach your children math so they can better understand what episode of Star Wars they are watching.
Lately, my furnace has run so much I nicknamed it "Forest".
Sorry ladies, but I already got my eyes on a woman who`s not interested.
If you`re going to walk a mile in my shoes, could you pick me up some booze on your way back?
Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?
You can either be right, or you can be the husband.
Saying a prayer for all the turkeys today. Also the single people with concerned relatives.
I just realized that I haven`t done the "Hockey Pokey" in over 10 years. I guess when you get older, you just forget what it`s all about.
Saw A bumper sticker that said "Fat People Are Harder To Kidnap" not sure if he was a proud fat man or a disgruntled kidnapper though.
What do horses eat? Hay. What do gay horses eat? Haaaayyyy!