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If you`re out running in jeans, I`m gonna go ahead and assume you just participated in a felony.
My password is SupermanHulkThorGoku, that`s the strongest password I can think of.
The hardest part of the job interview is knowing the best moment to lean in for the kiss.
If your pillow fort hasn’t got an armory filled with Nerf guns, then you’re not really taking pillow forting as seriously as you should be.
I`m confused as to whether I`m supposed to leap or hump today.
Does anyone know when is the cut-off date to stop wishing someone Happy New Years?
My GPS says "time of arrival" ... I see "time to beat."
If at first you don’t succeed, look in the trash for the instructions.
Hey Guys! I havent seen you since last year!(;
Lasagna is just spaghetti flavored cake.
Man, just think how crazy Gollum goes on the 5th day of Christmas.
I now have more electronic screens in my life than friends.
I really like this new reality show "Neighbor Without Drapes"
Know what? If they had Neosporin back in 1931, that nasty scar on Frankenstein`s forehead would have been far less noticeable.
This isn`t a bakery. We don`t sugarcoat sh!t