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I just love having sex with you...Next time I hope you are there with me.
I thought Match .com was a place to arrange fights to the death, but turns out it`s a website to find love. So I was close.
When you called me a b*tch, did you mean it as an insult or a compliment?
A Waist Is A Terrible Thing To Mind
20 years from now, some adults are going to say they grew up on the “bad part of town,” meaning there was no 4G in that area.
I`m surprised more killers haven`t lured their victims into their houses by blind folding them and promises of being on a febreze commercial
Hire a hitman is apparently not the correct answer to "what would you do if you won the lottery"
I`ve just invented an invisibility cloak; anything under it is rendered completely invisible. I`m still working out the kinks; you can still see the cloak itself
Despite what people may tell you, its the fat that makes you look fat... NOT the dress!! lol
Are you smarter than a 5th grader? Wait… Regular or Asian?
I know what I`m getting for Christmas ... Fat. I`m getting fat.
When you`re a kid, it makes you feel proud when someone says "Wow! You`ve gotten so big since the last time I saw you!" As an adult, not so much.
The waitress asked if I was done with that, I said yes but I`m married to it.
The other night, I posted on Facebook I was going to sleep shirtless. The next day I logged on and saw 7 mosquitoes "like" this.
Which nipple does the red jumper cable go on?