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everybody has a girlfriend or boyfriend, and i`m just over here like `i love food`.
I’m not here to judge, I’m just pointing out all the mistakes you’re making.
I inboxed a girl on Facebook and she never replied. I guess you could say we`re `seen` each other.
I never meant to be so cold, I never meant to be so cold. - Mother nature
How many divorced guys does it take to change a lightbulb?...........Who cares, they NEVER get the house anyways.
Forrest Gump forever changed the way I pronounce buttocks.
Remember when we thought it would be fun to grow up and have jobs? LOL
My arm fell asleep, which is understandable, considering how boring the rest of my body has been.
should probably get my daily dose of calcium.. white russians it is
I always wrap someone`s fist bump with my high five because paper beats rock.
My anaconda really doesn`t care if you got buns or not.
If guys were smart, they’d forget the nightclubs and watch the supermarket for girls who buy frozen dinners and cat food.
Why do they leave folding chairs so close to the wrestling ring? Shouldn’t the maintenance staff have learned their lesson by now?
People were shocked when they found I wasn`t a good electrician. :-)
People should have to pass an IQ test to use the self-checkout section.