Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Of course I’ll buy a polished rock made into a necklace. I’m on vacation, aren’t I?
I tried being awesome today, but I was just so tired from being awesome yesterday.
If I had the money I`d hire 2 private investigators to follow each other
I bet Hell is sitting in front of every person you know while a slideshow of all of your deleted selfies is played on a loop.
Don’t ask me to kill a spider for you & then criticize my methods. Yes, I had to use a samurai sword, & no, I’m not sorry about your table.
Give a fish some bread and he`ll eat for a day. Teach a fish to be a flying piranha and he`ll eat for a lifetime.
Some people are just bad news!!! Those are my favorite!
Hmmm… Who should I stalk on Facebook now? :)
If you scream in a library, people just look at you funny. If you scream on an airplane, everyone joins in.
Time is precious ... waste it wisely!
BESTFRIEND: the one you can get mad at only for a short period because you have important stuff to tell them.
I`m sending a whole bunch of emails to random Nigerians letting them know they`ve won the Canadian lottery.
Fitness? More like fitness whole cheesecake in my mouth.
GOOGLE must be a woman because it knows everything.
You don`t know pissed off until she tells you to go sleep on the couch, and you take all the covers with you.