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If this world got any smaller I`d probably fall off - George T. Ignace
Shouldn`t there have been one scene in The Karate Kid where Daniel`s mom was like "Why are you constantly in that old man`s shed?"
I`m afraid to hug fat girls....what if they`re hungry?
The Never Ending Story should`ve been a movie about a phone call from my Mother
stupidity is a privelege entitled to everyone but you my dear are abusing this right
Flip flops are fun because every time you take a step it`s like a high-five for your feet.
The iPhone 6 looks pretty cool, but it still lets people leave voicemails, so they apparently haven`t worked out all the bugs yet.
Don’t get your panties in a bunch. The nicer ones are sold individually.
The hay in baby Jesus`s manger came from Christian Bales.
Ate too much salad yesterday so I`m going on an Oreos cleanse today.
This is how my week goes: Mooooooooooooonday Tuuuuuuuuuuuuesday Weeeeeeeeeeednesday Thuuuuuuuuuuursday FridaySaturdaySunday.
I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food. :)
C`mon Netflix, we both know I`m watching the next episode. Just go ahead and start it.
Don`t judge a person for drinking; judge a person for not drinking. Those f*ckers are up to something.
I`m trying to give up sexual innuendos. But it`s hard........so hard......