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Sometimes you can tell it’s going to be a bad day when someone you don’t like is smiling.
Girls don`t dress for boys, they dress for themselves... If girls dressed for boys, they`d just walk around naked all the time.
My favorite iOS7 feature is how it distracts me from the fact that I`m wasting my life poking a glass screen.
There`s a sense of great satisfaction when I`m the tie breaker between `Funny` and `Not Funny` status updates.
If you think I wrote this status update in the nude, you`re wrong. I`m wearing a sombrero and a candy necklace.
I think I like mornings best when they start in the afternoon.
I hope you all have a prosperous New Year ... I may have to borrow money.
I was planning to do something today, but I haven’t finished doing nothing from yesterday.
At the start of every relationship many girls treat their boys as a GOD but later the alphabets are reversed
My credit score is just a picture of me crying in the front yard of a nice house.
Why don`t you slip into something more comfortable, like a coma
I love my six pack abs so much that I cover them with a layer of fat .
So the Boy Scouts are going to let girls join. Teenage boys and girls camping in the woods together. What could possibly go wrong?
It looks like bathroom tai chi but it`s me trying to trigger the automatic paper towel dispenser.
I bet the women who only post about sex are probably some of the nicest men you’ll ever meet in person.