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Funniest thing ever heard on TV. "Ward, you were a little hard on the Beaver last night"
You Are The Reason My Middle Finger Was Created.
One of these days I`m going to get help for my procrastination problem.
I love therapy sessions because I get to cry for an hour. It usually freaks out my patient, though.
There are so many scams on the Internet now these days, but for $19.95 I can show you how to avoid them.
Irish Handcuffs: Holding a beer in each hand.
Don’t judge someone because they sin differently than you.
After 3 "it`s complicated" statuses, Facebook should just default to "Unstable"
The queen honey bee has up to 40 sexual partners a day, just like your ex.
It`s a good idea to test your immune system from time to time by eating a gas station hot dog
Yawning is our body`s way of saying 10% of battery remaining.
I`d hit that. - women drivers
If I had a jet pack I would look AWESOME dying within the first 2 minutes of having a jet pack.
Whenever somebody said they did something "Like a Boss" I assume that they did nothing but took all the credit for it.
When someone wants to talk behind your back, FART!