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What`s it called when you always have a sweet tooth, but it`s only for booze?
What if Egyptians actually had a written language, then started using emojis, and that’s all that’s left?
"I woke up with morning wood. She woke up with morning wouldn`t."
I`m pretty sure some of you just drag your face across the keyboard and hit send.
what if the princess wants to be with bowser, but mario keeps kidnapping her
Boy if these walls could talk I`d be like "HOLY SH!T TALKING WALLS"
Mo’ money, mo’ problems. This explains why I don’t have problems.
Dodgeball, but with random people who don`t know that they are playing..............
Before asking a hot chick out, I wish I could first talk to the dude who`s sick of her bullsh!t.
Ladies and Gentleman, I`ve traveled a long way, crossed many bridges, fought my way through countless obstacles, all to bring you this one sad truth about life. There`s never enough beer.
life is too short to match socks
We have cars that park themselves but I still gotta wave my hand 15 times before a paper towel comes out the dispenser
I hate brushing my teeth at night because that signifies that you cant have anymore food and im just never ready for that kind of commitment
Based on the number of smoke breaks they take, I’m pretty sure the only reason my co-workers have a job is to pay for their cigarettes.
I used to be poor. Then I bought a dictionary, and now I`m impecunious.