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So they say that having to much sex can cause memory loss, which is just a little something I seem to remember reading in a Rolling Stone magazine once on page 64 paragraphs 3 through 5 while sitting on a park bench October 14th 2002 at 3:46 p.m
I`m gaining weight for my role as "Before picture"
It’s not a great nap, unless you wake up and can’t remember what day it is.
You can always tell a lot from that first kiss, especially when they say things like "please stop" and "who are you?"
Why can`t everyday be football Sunday?
LIFE always offers you a second chance,its called TOMORROW
I tried to give a cute waitress my phone number by writing it on the credit card receipt but accidentally tipped her 9 billion dollars.
I am convinced God only created six days and the devil added Monday.
I`m single by choice. Just not my choice.
Why can`t insomnia start in the morning.
I`m super lazy today. Which is like normal lazy but I`m also wearing a cape.
Top 5 things I stare into: 1) My phone. 2) The fridge. 3) Space. 4) The abyss. 5) Your windows.
When your wife says she needs a new broom it`s best not to ask if she broke the last one in a crash landing.
I thought we had nothing in common until I saw you buying 3 margaritas at a time.
From what I can piece together, this Pitbull character enjoys "partying"