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Science is just a numbery way to explain magic.
If you are noticing this notice, you will have noticed this notice is not worth noticing
If you feel down because you had a bad day! Chin up! Tomorrow is another day and the worst has yet to come!
I have the same thought when I watch horror flicks as when I watch my wedding videos. I should have known who the psycho was much sooner.
Sometimes I post crazy shit just to see if my friend`s list will drop a few #`s
Caterpillars have it made. They eat a lot, go to sleep, then wake up beautiful.
My exercise routine consists of doing diddly squats.
Jesus said to love your neighbour like you love yourself. Thats a nice saying but if Martin from next door thinks he`s getting a handjob he can f*ck off!
You always remember your first Crush. Mine was Orange.
If you were a cookie, you’d be a whoreo.
you know it`s a good fart when it wakes you from a dead sleep and you pull a butt muscle at the same time.
You`re not the sharpest knife in my back.
It’s people that give drinking a bad name.
I used to think paramedics were ghost doctors.
Happiness comes from within. That`s why it always feels so good to fart.