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I`ll never understand those people who say, "I mainly use facebook for my family." And I`m thinking to myself..."Umm...isn`t that what real life is for?"
“Hangover” makes it sounds like it’s all done now. I’d like to propose the term “hanghappening”.
Kids may be a gift, but I like playing with the box it came in.
I`d walk barefoot across an ocean of Legos for you.
Urgh..I just dropped my phone, are you guys alright?
You know the road is in bad shape when you drive to the grocery store and your fitbit registers 1,000 steps.
Eat breakfast: Check...Pay Phone: Check...Conquer the world: Still Pending...
If watching the big-screen TV with your pants off and a bag of Doritos is wrong, then they shouldn’t have couches at this Best Buy
I won $20 by not playing the lottery last night!
Sometimes just to annoy my therapist, I ask him, "So how does my lack of progress make you feel?"
Hawaii is a great place to live if you hate being eligible for contests.
So many fun things to say … too many relatives on Facebook to post!
believes saying "hi" with a big smile can brighten anyone´s day ... even those who give you the middle finger for cutting them off in traffic.
Fitness? More like, fitness whole pizza in my mouth.
Of course it`s you....there`s no f*cking way it`s me...