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Have a day. That`s about as inspirational I get.
My girlfriend and I have an open relationship and will continue to do so right up until she finds out.
I`m not a psychologist,,, but I remember when a Hot Wheels track magically cured 80% of ADHD
You know what’s funnier than watching someone trip and fall? Absolutely nothing!
Why would I buy a pumpkin at the store for $5 when I can drive 30 miles and pay to walk through a field to pick our own for $27.
Accidentally used AOL.com, I betting the employees there are celebrating and think they have a sure future.
Is it safe to take off my Winter Solstice Glasses yet?
The road to hell is paved with good intentions Note to self...avoid good intentions at all costs.
How are poor people so good at finding money for tattoos?
Before you marry a person you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.
I’m alone in my car. Counting it as a vacation.
My phone dies faster than a black man in a horror film.
Why do we feel safe under blankets? It`s not like a murderer will come in thinking "I`m gonna ki..- ahh damn! He`s under a blanket
Shake up a random soda pop in the company fridge today. You deserve it.
I feel sorry for men who don’t know how to value women. One look at a woman and I know how much she will cost me.