Daily Silly Status

Sadly, the opposite sex is ignoring me like a check engine light.

This lady in Walgreens is staring at me like she`s never seen anyone put on deodorant and then put it back on the shelf.

The further you push me away, the more I begin to enjoy viewing you from a distance.

This is the earliest I have ever been late.

Imagine, for a moment, what you could accomplish if you had the persistence and drive of the Adobe Acrobat Reader updater.

Was disappointed when I watched the films Shaft, XXX, X-Men, In To Deep, Snatch, The Box, Free Willy. None of them were what I expected...

I saw a book titled Learning To Read For Dummies. At first I thought that sounded insulting, but then I realized anybody who would be insulted by that title wouldn`t even know what it says.

Just bent over to pick up a beer that rolled out of the fridge and realized yoga is exhausting

If they were really trying to prepare high school kids for “real life” they would offer a class called “working with a$$holes”

I dont care how you live your life, so just let me live mine. Yeah whatever.

Question everything...Or should you?

I haven’t lived paycheck to paycheck since my last paycheck.

Of course women have cleaner minds than men. They change them much more often

Of course it`s you....there`s no f*cking way it`s me...

There should be reality show where 16 congressmen are forced to take jobs in the private sector.