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umm umm u know that school where i got the degree from
Men like football because the priorities in football are also the biggest priorities in every man’s life…. Scoring and Ball Security.
Can anyone recommend a good movie to kinda listen to while I stare at my phone?
Sorry that most of my hilarious jokes are borderline inappropriate. And by sorry, I mean you`re welcome.
My 4yo just shut the bathroom door on me while I was inside and told me I was in jail. So I locked the door. I love this game.
None of the animals I designed and invented are at the zoo. Do they even check the suggestion box?
It will be light. It will be dark. It will be light. It will be dark. It will be light. Then I`m back. Me, explaining a vacation to my cat.
The most difficult part about taking a personality test is deciding which personality should take it.
So I met an Egyptian, they walk just like us.
FYI: You have to stop Facebook posting to have an alibi for ignoring texts.
If it hurts you more than it hurts them, you’re probably holding the taser wrong.
Girl: I have changed my mind. Boy: Thank God! Does the new one work?
I`d go to church if they had Wi-Fi.
If it`s true that spiders are more scared of me than I am of them, why have I never seen a spider crawl away screaming like a little girl?
Have you ever realized that sleeping is just your eyes staring at your eyelids all night long?