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Welcome to my Facebook wall. Straight jackets are on your left, meds are on the table, and if you hurry, you can still get a seat in group therapy . . . have fun!
They call themselves independent women until furniture needs to be moved
life is unfair theres 6 days between monday and sunday but only 1 between sunday and monday
Sleep is like sex, you never get enough of it and sometimes it feels like it never happened at all.
It saddens me to say that after tasting this homemade whiskey/nacho cheese ice cream, I’ve found not all dreams are meant to be followed.
"Stay out of the heat & stay hydrated." Thank you news-anchor. It`s my first summer.
I tend to say “I dont know” when I’m too lazy to think.
Sweetie, if your gonna be two-faced at least make one of them pretty!
My favorite drinking game is drinking.
People ask me why I don`t have any tattoos and I respond with, would you put a bumper sticker on a Ferrari?
Rejected Olympic Events: Javelin Catch... Jello Shotput... Border Fencing... Cardboard Boxing... Menstrual Cycling... Salad Tossing... Wrestling Demons...
I like confusing kids by telling them I`m older than the internet
It`s a bird.. it`s a plane..no wait..it`s a blade of grass....
Don`t fall in love, learn how to ruin your life all by yourself.
Attention...my facebook page has been hacked. But everyone seems to like the new guy better, me too actually...so f**k it!