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Another day where I`m not skinny, rich or famous. Getting real tired of this sh*t.
With the promise of Free Drinks or Food, I’m willing to go pretty much anywhere.
I didn`t get your text (phrase) - I got your text, I was just too lazy to respond.
Right now I`m having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I`ve forgotten this before.
People who say 45 minutes past the hour must be the same ones who have kids 89 and 63 month olds
spank me, its the only way i`ll learn.
I could be a morning person if morning happened after 11.
Waldo wears stripes because he doesn`t want to be spotted !
Don’t get your panties in a bunch. The nicer ones are sold individually.
At 4-way stop, the first person to finish their text has the right of way right?
For those of you who know nothing about pleasing a woman... the G spot is located at the end of the word "shopping".....js
When a girl says: "If you can`t handle me at my worst, then you don`t deserve me at my best"... What she really means is: "I`m a f*ckin psycho."
If pigs really could fly I bet their wings would taste delicious.
If you don’t like my sense of humor please tell me… so I can laugh at you!
I`m "BE KIND & REWIND" years old.