Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters.. do they just give you a bra and say, "here fill this out"..?
I saw that! - Karma
I`m the crazy bitch you`ll never forget.
I think I`m gonna glue my thumbs to my nipples and pretend I`m a T-Rex.
If you haven`t used your fingers to "expand" a picture in a Magazine today, well then you`re not me.
I`m as bored as a guy with no arms looking at porn.
I want to know what horrific ideas were rejected before they decided "Vagisil" was the best possible brand name?
When people tell me “You’re gonna regret that in the morning” I sleep in til noon, because I’m a problem solver.
If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you... I would start thinking about you.
Did a 5k today. Except it was how many calories I had at lunch.
Organized people are just to lazy to look for things.
"No, thanks. I`m a vegetarian." is a fun thing to say when someone hands you their baby.
When someone wants to talk behind your back, FART!
Sorry, Sarcasm falls out of my mouth, like stupidity falls out of yours
I Just bought a Ken doll. I don`t know what everyone`s talking about, you can`t read books on this thing