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Gas prices are a lot like girls: We just wish they would go down.
I don`t get offered drugs nearly as often as D.A.R.E. said I would.
If you`re bored, wear a cape. Then you can be Super Bored
So if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the “Jags” and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the “Bucs,” what does that make the Tennessee Titans?
Siri, destroy the vehicle in front of me.
Your so vain...you probably think this post is about you
John has 35 candy bars. If John eats 27 of them what does he have? .... Diabetes. John has diabetes.
As an adult, I’m not eating nearly as much ice cream as 10 year old me thought I would.
I`m all for change as long as it doesn`t directly affect my routine.
"I get knocked down, but I get up again, You`re never gonna keep me down" ~Bowling pins
There could be literally thousands of chameleons in your house right now and you don`t even know it.
If Mary Poppins floated in on an umbrella today, they`d shoot her out of the sky with a drone.
The best part about being a pathological liar is flying my helicopter to my private island.
I will kill you with kindness even if I have to beat the sh!t out of you.
once again Tequila is the Delete History button of my brain.