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I wrote you this love poem: Here, just take my credit card.
Thanks to Facebook i now know what everyones bathroom looks like.
Don`t play stupid with me! I`m better at it.
is in no shape to exercise
I`ve been spending so much time on Facebook, that I forgot the internet has porn.
The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
A golden rule to live by: Never do anything that you wouldn’t want to explain to the paramedics!
I can sum up my life in three words: “just browsing, thanks.”
Karma takes too long ..... I`d rather beat the sh%t out of you.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man
I always give my extra money to Charity. She is usually on the main stage around 11pm.
Arguing over a girl`s bust size is like choosing between Molson, Heineken, Coors or Budweiser -- Men may state their preferences, but will grab whatever is available.
If you people knew how expensive, time consuming and hard this stalking stuff is you wouldn`t freak out every time you see me in your bushes.....geesh
If you want a successful relationship, find someone who likes the same thermostat setting you do.
Yea, there is no "I" in team... but there sure is "ME".