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They say the camera adds 10lbs. Stop eating cameras!
If Google can`t find the answer, it`s not a question.
Always wonder why do people even bother making good quality pinatas?
Just got 30 minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.
Why do we say "A word to the wise" when it`s the stupid ones who need it?
I know they didn`t ask for it, but I sent a stool sample in with my tax returns.
My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, "What`s on TV?" I said, "Dust." And then the fight started...
I`m going to propose with a mood ring so I can easily see a measurement of how excited she really is.
1: Say "Unh! 2: Mumble three spanish words. 3: list four cities. You just made a Pitbull song.
Just once I want to see a car with one woman sticker and twelve cat stickers.
This drag race is not at all what I expected. Are they in dresses inside of the cars, at least?
Whatever you do in life, always give 100%...unless you`re donating blood...
I get paid to be nice at work. Not sure why my family and friends expect that for free.
Last night I got so drunk I blacked out for two hours, but then I realized Iād just put my hoodie on backwards
When I said I like it rough I was talking about the sex, not the whole entire relationship...