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Why is it that people who drink energy drinks seem like the people with the least amount of stuff going on?
It’s not that I don’t care what you’re saying; I was just thinking about food.
Why is maple syrup so expensive?.. It grows on trees doesn`t it?
My life is just one long improvisation.
I was enjoying our conversation, but then I stopped talking and the whole thing got really boring.
Do midgets still start their childhood stories off with, "When I was little"
A shark will only attack you if you’re wet.
I`m just saying a sarcasm font could go a loooong way!
If you forget your hook-up’s name, just take them to Starbuck’s in the morning.
If you want to pick up girls ....Keep your back straight and lift with your knees.
Your clothes are making me extremely uncomfortable. Please, take them off.
Going through the dealership lot with the salesman, pointing at every car and asking, "what kinda robot does that one turn into?"
I`m not sarcastic…I`m just intellegent beyond your understanding.
In life you will meet all sorts of people, happy, moody, shy, loud, weird, and then there`s me So deal with it mmuhaaaaaaaahaaahaaaa that`s right !
When a woman asks you for your opinion all she really wants to hear is her opinion repeated word for word but in your voice.